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Following the attacks in Israel by Hamas on Saturday, Oct. 7, Dubin, a cantor at Temple Beth Rishon did not hear from her son for more than a day. Right now, he is safe on a military base.
But Dubin has the role of military mom.
"He said he is safe because he is only doing things that are safe," Dubin said. "I said you're definition of safety is widely divergent from mine."
Ari has served in the IDF since December, fulfilling a dream he had since he spent several years in Jerusalem as a kid. In Israel, citizens are required to serve in the military once they turn 18.
"He wanted to be one of those proud Israeli soldiers serving his country, just like the other Israel kids," Dubin said. "He talked about it all throughout grade school. We thought it was just a phase, but it was not."
Ari eventually earned a dual citizenship and enlisted in the army, being sent to boot camp, which was fine with his mother, since it meant he was safe. He later enrolled in a commander's course, which also thrilled Dubin, since it meant he was not in the field.
"I wanted him to be safe," Dubin said. "Nothing makes a mom happier than having a safe kid. Now this awful war is happening and my kid wasn't safe anymore."
As the fighting began, Dubin was able to connect with Ari for 20 seconds, where he told her he loved her. That was the last she heard from him for more than 36 hours.
"If one of my children doesn't call me, I get worried that they crashed a car or are hurt in some way, I'm not thinking they were swallowed up in an international conflict," Dubin, who has four children, said. "I was so anxious. It's terrifying."
Dubin finally heard back from Ari, who told her he got through this one. It was bittersweet for Dubin, who realized there are other kids who did not survive the fighting.
"I recognize my privilege, it's not lost on me," Dubin said. "I am grateful my kid is safe, but I know he will go out again. It's terrifying to me."
While the conflict rages on, Dubin said she is hoping for peace.
"War isn't very healthy," Dubin said. "People don't have to be hurt this way. It makes me so sad."
The Wyckoff community and her synagogue have been a source of strength to Dubin. She said she has received prayers and well wishes from all walks of life and worship, including Christians, Muslims, Hindus and Wiccans.
"They are holding me together," Dubin said. "I am feeling the love. I feel like I am being sheltered by my community. I'm trying to remain calm but I'm terrible at this. I don't know how parents of soldiers handle it. It's totally different when it's your kid. I know my kid is smart and he'll do his best to stay safe, but it's so dangerous."
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